WELCOME to HAPPY TO BE...This is a blog about my love of Antiques, My family, humor, as humor keeps us laughing and my every Day life...I hope you enjoy your visit...Please leave me a comment to let me know you Came by so I can visit with you Thank You !!...Hugs and Smiles, Gl♥ria

December 23, 2012

~ How To Confuse Santa~

Twenty ways to confuse Santa Claus

Christmas Santa
1. Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.

2. While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket.

3. Leave him a note, explaining that you've gone away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants.

4. While he's in the house, replace all his reindeer with exact replicas. Then wait and see what happens when he tries to get them to fly.

5. Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big, red Santa suit!

6. Build an army of mean-looking snowmen on the roof, holding signs that say "We hate Christmas," and "Go away Santa."

7. Leave a note by the telephone, telling Santa that Mrs. Claus called and wanted to remind him to pick up some milk and a loaf of bread on his way home.

8. Throw a surprise party for Santa when he comes down the chimney. Refuse to let him leave until the strippers arrive.

9. While he's in the house, find the sleigh and sit in it. As soon as he comes back and sees you, tell him that he shouldn't have missed that last payment, and take off.

10. Leave a plate filled with cookies and a glass of milk out, with a note that says, "For The Tooth Fairy. :)" Leave another plate out with half a stale cookie and a few drops of skim milk in a dirty glass with a note that says, "For Santa. :("

11. Take everything out of your house as if it's just been robbed. When Santa arrives, show up dressed like a policeman and say, "Well, well. They always return to the scene of the crime."

12. Leave out a copy of your Christmas list with last-minute changes and corrections.

13. While he's in the house, cover the top of the chimney with barbed wire.

14. Leave lots of hunting trophies and guns out where Santa's sure to see them. Go outside, yell, "Ooh! Look! A deer! And he's got a red nose!" and fire a gun.

15. Leave Santa a note, explaining that you've moved. Include a map with unclear and hard-to-read directions to your new house.

16. Set a bear trap at the bottom of the chimney. Wait for Santa to get caught in it, and then explain that you're sorry, but from a distance, he looked like a bear.

17. Leave out a Santa suit, with an attached dry-cleaning bill.

18. Paint "hoof-prints" all over your face and clothes. While he's in the house, go out on the roof. When he comes back up, act like you've been "trampled." Threaten to sue for personal injury.

19. Instead of ornaments, decorate your tree with Easter eggs.

20. Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa to come and then say, "This neighborhood ain't big enough for the both of us.

Until next time from my mountain to yours
Hugs and smiles Gloria


onlymehere said...

Merry Christmas Gloria! Thanks for the chuckle today!

Madeline's Album said...

Heres wishing a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you and all your family. Thanks again for another good laugh. Have a blessed day. Madeline

Sonny G said...

I can always count on you to start my day with a SMILE~!
its Mrs Clause who needs the salad around here lol..

Merry Christmas ya sweet thang and a wishing you a wondering New Year full of Laughter , Happiness and Good Health.

luv ya bunches

Divine Theatre said...

My husband is a police officer. the mall Santa graciously allowed him to take a mugshot at the mall substation! LOL! I have NOT shown is to Gracie! She would never speak to her daddy again!

Merry Christmas to you and your family. I'm so glad I know you, Gloria!



lvroftiques said...

Merry Christmas Gloria!! I think any of these would definitely put you on the NAUGHTY list! Love you Vanna

Debbiedoos said...

Oh Gloria, I should have known I was coming over for some laughter. I thank you. Merry Christmas to you and your beautiful family.

NanaDiana said...

LOL- I think you,too, (like me) are probably gonna get coal in your stocking. lol xo Diana

Unknown said...

Have a Merry Christmas dear friend!


SmilingSally said...

Hi Gloria,

You are too much! I wish you and yours a Merry Christmas and a Happy Healthy New Year!

Ivy and Elephants said...

Thanks for the laugh, Gloria.
Wishing you a happy and blessed new year.

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