WELCOME to HAPPY TO BE...This is a blog about my love of Antiques, My family, humor, as humor keeps us laughing and my every Day life...I hope you enjoy your visit...Please leave me a comment to let me know you Came by so I can visit with you Thank You !!...Hugs and Smiles, Gl♥ria

April 23, 2012

~Tuesday Humor~

1. A man comes into the ER and yells . . . '
My wife ' s going to have her baby in the cab. '
I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady ' s dress and began to take off her underwear.
Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs - - - and I was in the wrong one.
Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald ,
San Francisco

2... At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient ' s anterior chest wall.
' Big breaths, ' . . . I instructed.
' Yes, they used to be, ' . . . replied the patient.

Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes ,
Seattle , WA

3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct.
Not more than five minutes later, I heard her
reporting to the rest of the family that he had
died of a ' massive internal fart.'

Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg

4. During a patient ' s two week follow-up
appointment with his cardiologist, he informed
me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with
One of his medications.

'Which one? ' . .. . I asked. ' The patch...
The Nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I ' m running out of places to put it! '
I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn ' t see.
Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body!
Now, the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.

Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair ,
Norfolk , VA

5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient,
I asked, ' How long have you been bedridden? '

After a look of complete confusion she answered . . .
' Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive. '

Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson-
Corvallis , OR

6. I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning and while checking up on a man I asked . . . ' So how ' s your breakfast this morning? ' 'It's very good except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can ' t seem to get used to the taste.' . Bob replied.
I then asked to see the jelly and Bob produced
A foil packet labeled ' KY Jelly. '

Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf ,
Detroit ,

7. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room
when a young woman with purple hair styled
into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety
of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing,
entered . . . It was quickly determined that
the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was
scheduled for immediate surgery.. When she was completely disrobed on the operating
table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had
been dyed green and above it there was a
tattoo that read . . . ' Keep off the grass. '

Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon
wrote a short note on the patient ' s dressing,
which said ' Sorry . . . had to mow the lawn. '

Submitted by RN no name,

AND FINALLY!! ! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

8. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB.
I was quite embarrassed when performing female
pelvic exams... To cover my embarrassment
I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.

The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing
and further embarrassing me.
I looked up from my work and sheepishly said. . .
' I ' m sorry. Was I tickling you? '
She replied with tears running down
her cheeks from laughing so hard . . .

' No doctor but the song you were whistling was . . .
' I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener . '
Dr. wouldn ' t submit his name....


Baby ' s First Doctor Visit

This made me laugh out loud.
I hope it will give you a smile!

A woman and a baby were in the doctor ' s examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby ' s first exam.

The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.
'Breast-fed, ' she replied..

' Well, strip down to your waist, ' the doctor ordered.

She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination.

Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said, ' No wonder this baby is underweight. You don ' t have any milk. '

I know, ' she said, ' I'm his Grandma,

But I'm glad I came,

Until next time from my mountain to yours
Hugs and smiles Gloria


Anonymous said...

Oh, I've missed you, Gloria! These were so funny! :) Hope you're feeling better and you've made my night!
Be a sweetie,
Shelia ;)

NanaDiana said...

Gloria- Those are hysterical and I can tell you that after working in a hospital that the truth is stranger than fiction. xo Diana

Judy at GoldCountryCottage said...

Hi Gloria: Keep em coming. Very enjoyable..Happy Monday..Judy

Confessions of a Plate Addict said...

You are too funny, Gloria! Loved them all! Hope you are having a great week!...hugs...Debbie

Unknown said...

ROFLOL! These are the best in a very long time.

Hope you are doing better, Gloria. Sure miss you.

Have a beautiful day ~

Neabear said...

These are so funny! Thanks for the laugh! Hope you are doing well!


Unknown said...

OMG these are SO FUNNY!!! Thank you for this bit of fun! It was great laughs! :D


Cindy (Applestone Cottage) said...

Thanks for the laughs dear Gloria, they were great!
I chuckled and chuckled and chuckled some more!
Miss you friend, so glad to see when you post too!
How's that cute little grandbaby boy of your's doing these days?
And his cute little grandma...meaning you!
Big Hugs,

Curtains in My Tree said...

LOL Oh my gosh I needed to laugh , these were great humor for me this morning



Madeline's Album said...

Glad to see you post once again. These were really funny. I had a good laugh. Have a blessed day. Madeline

Madeline's Album said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Connie said...

I'm doing quite well, sugar, but I'm glad I dropped by today and got my laughs!

Elizabeth and Gary said...

So So funny! I laughed and laughed some more!
Have a sweet day, Elizabeth

Richard Cottrell said...

You are so full of it. What's up with Ms. Vanna? Haven't heard from her for awhile.

Linda @ Life and Linda said...

Hi Gloria....very funny...good for a great laugh. I see that GoldCountryCottage Judy is friends with you. Judy looks like she is moving along. We just found out we live rather close. I live in Auburn. I see you also live in Northern California. It's a small world. I am also an Ovarian cancer survivor. Cheers, Linda

Wsprsweetly Of Cottages said...

A couple of these made me howl with laughter. I DO love a good joke!

Debbiedoos said...

LOLLOLLOL! That is so funny and yes you did make me laugh. The last one was the closing act Gloria. I love your sense of humor.

Sue said...

Well, now that I've my laugh of the afternoon...how are you doing?

Nezzy (Cow Patty Surprise) said...

Heeehehehe, I'm cryin' here girl. Oh how I've missed your humor sweetie!

God bless and have an awesomely blessed day beautiful lady.

BTW: I have an Angel Dawn update over at my place.

Anonymous said...

So good to hear from you, Gloria! You've been on my heart, so I said a prayer for you! Hope you're continuing to feel better.
Be a sweetie,
Shelia ;)

xinex said...

LOL! Thanks for the good laugh, Gloria. I had to copy them and email them to John...Christine

Kathy @ Creative Home Expressions said...

OMG, Gloria! I laughed at every single one! That last one was a doozy ~ especially since when my granddaughter was a newborn, I used to go with her and my daughter to the pediatrician. : )

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Lynne (lynnesgiftsfromtheheart) said...

Hi darling, these are all so funny. When Mr. P gets up I'll share with him. Hope you're feeling better and better. I'm sure you're anxious to get out and so some tiquing... I would love to head your way and hit all the wonderful sites and pick up tons of treasures. We know that's only a dream right now.. but a big one.. love you darling.. hugs ~lynne~

Fresh healthy vending said...

great post . thanks for sharing with us .