WELCOME to HAPPY TO BE...This is a blog about my love of Antiques, My family, humor, as humor keeps us laughing and my every Day life...I hope you enjoy your visit...Please leave me a comment to let me know you Came by so I can visit with you Thank You !!...Hugs and Smiles, Gl♥ria

September 29, 2010

~ I L♥ve Retirement~

Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my

loyal pet, Sunny, and was in the checkout line when a woman


behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant?



So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I


didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably

shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50


pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most


of my orifices and IVs in both arms.


I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works


is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two


every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well


and I was going to try it again.


(I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled


with my story.)



Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food


poisoned me.. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's

Butt and a car hit us both.



I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so

hard.

 
COSTCO won't let me shop there anymore.



Better watch what you ask retired people.
Until next time from my mountain to yours.
Hugs and smiles Gl♥ria

40 comments:

Love the Decor! said...

You are too funny
Have a blessed day!! and thanks for the laugh

Wsprsweetly Of Cottages said...

Gloria...you just let'er fly don't you? LOL You are so funny..and..enlightening!! I had NO idea that was how you stayed so thin! I always wondered..now I know!!
*walks away roaring with laughter...but so much wiser!*

Mona

Penny @ The Comforts of Home/Lavender Hill Studio said...

LOL!!!!!!!!!!! Love it!!!!
xo
Penny

Kim @ Savvy Southern Style said...

Gloria, I hurt from laughing so hard!!!! You are ka-razy!! Love it. Have a super retired day.

Kim

marty (A Stroll Thru Life) said...

Gloria, you crack me up. I can't imagine the look on her face. You are kidding aren't you? Hugs, Marty

Dandelion and Daisy said...

Is that not a story you would love to tell someone who asks a stupid question! LOL Love it!

Bonnie@Creative Decorating said...

Oh Gloria....you are terrible!!! That sure was funny though!! Sometimes people just can't help themselves!! It is like the comedy routine "here's your sign"!!!

Cass @ That Old House said...

Oh Gloria, it's a good thing I wasn't drinking coffee when I read this, or I'd have it all over my computer screen!
Sooooo funny!!!
You are too much.
come up here to our Costco, where they don't know you!
:-)
Cass

Kat said...

DH and I are sitting here laughing our heads off. This was hysterical. And I bet the people behind you in line would petition COSTCO to let you back in, if only to keep them entertained while they are in line! I just love your sense of humor, you always make me smile. Hugs, Kat

Glenda/MidSouth said...

I laugh every time I read that funny. Thanks for sharing.

trash talk said...

Wash it down with a little toilet water and you are living the life! Gloria, you just unLeashed a bunch of ha has over here!
Debbie

Lynn said...

You are just TOO funny!
I love my visits to your blog!

Sherry @ No Minimalist Here said...

Gloria, Girl, you are too funny! I loved this and it is exactly what the women needed for asking such a dumb question. Thanks for keeping me laughing.
xo, Sherry

Olive Cooper said...

CeeKay that is fabulous! I am retired and love it! I think people think I sit and do nothing but I stay busy doing exactly what I wish to do and do not know how I ever got anything done when I worked. Happy Retirement♥♥♥ Olive

Linda (Nina's Nest) said...

Gloria, I am still laughing. I wish I had been standing in line at costco that day! You are a hoot, girl! Linda

Olive Cooper said...

Dear Gl♥ria, one thousand pardons please. I saw you freiens pic and forgot what blog I was on. Somedays confusion reigns! olive

PAT said...

Cute post Gloria! Love it!

Kathy @ Creative Home Expressions said...

Ha! Could you imagine! Really though, some people do ask the stupidest questions and this would be a great way to handle it.

Cindy (Applestone Cottage) said...

Good one Gloria!
Hehe, I love it!
Still waiting for the baby but today her plug came out and she is dilated a bit. I hope that means soon!
Hugs dear,
Cindy

Blondie's Journal said...

Oh...this is too funny!! What a crazy question for the lady to ask!! She deserved your answer!!

Hope all is well on your mountaintop!

XO,
Jane

Sue said...

Gloria you are priceless!! LOL!

Jennifer@Pieces of Me said...

I am seriously Laughing Out Loud!!! This is awesome! I can totally picture someone saying this! LOL
thanks for the laugh and smile!!!

Sandy said...

Gloria, You can always make me laugh. I will have to let hubby read this one. Thanks for sharing.
Sandy

Madeline's Album said...

Again you have given me a good laugh. Thanks for sharing this so funny story. Have a blessed day. Madeline

Gloria (The Little Red House with the White Porch) said...

LOL!, Gloria, that is one great story!!!
Best,
gv

Sandra said...

Oh my gosh, Gloria! You had me laughing here! Good thing i'm all alone at the moment or they would have thought I'd gone nuts! LOL What a great comeback to a dumb question! You go girl!
Blessings,
Sandra

Confessions of a Plate Addict said...

How funny. Gloria! I love the sign, too! Retirement is the best thing that ever happened to me! lol Have a great weekend...hugs...Debbie

Confessions of a Plate Addict said...

I also wanted to say congrats to you and your family on Landen's arrival! I was out of town and missed it! He's precious! I know yu must be sooo proud and happy!...hugs...Debbie

PAT said...

Hi Gloria
I'm stopping back by to tell you, I have a furniture puzzle for you over at the Back Porch. I know what it is and I bet you do too!

Life on the Edge said...

Roflmao! I love this joke. It was on one of my posts from a couple years ago. I think I will have to post the link on FB!

Regarding the pic and the statement about tattoos...oh so true! Can you imagine? lol

Kady
Life on the Edge

sissie said...

Hi Gloria,
I'm laughing my butt off! You are too funny. People that ask such stupid questions are so much fun, aren't they!

hugs
Sissie

Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend said...

Love your humor...Love your blog...

I have some new pictures of my little Buzz and my holiday blog has new holiday pictures when you have some time...plus a comment is all it takes for the giveaway.
http://grammyababychangeseverything.blogspot.com/2010/09/she-has-great-stuff.html

Kim said...

Freakin' hilarious Gloria! Can I PLEASE have permission to send this via email to my friends/family? Thanks!
xoxo,
Kim
also, thanks for the info on the clock. I will be sure to find it's rightful place and keep it there!
Baby is cooking just fine. Thanks for asking.

xinex said...

You are a hoot, Gloria, LOL!...Christine

Shelia said...

Oh, you funny little one! That's hilarious! Now I sure could stand to loose some weight but I'll pass on the dog food! :)
Hope you're doing well, great granny! :)
Be a sweetie,
Shelia ;)

Marydon said...

I got this in an email just recently & about fell off my chair laughing. It is so funny.

Sorry I have not been with you more lately. We finally finished both house constructions & took off for 2 weeks. I apologize, but will be better now.

TTFN ~ Hugs, Marydon

Debbie said...

No way Gloria you really did not tell that story...I meant the Irish setters butt part LOL!!~ That is awesome. Why can't I meet people like you in Costco, I get all the crabby old people ready to run me over just in case they can't get that loaf of bread that there are a thousand of....great story. Smiles for sure:) Debbie

Dena said...

Oh by George I needed that laugh so darn bad, you have no idea! Thank you for posting this and making my day :)

Hugs,
Dena

Chari at Happy To Design said...

Ohhhh noooo...you didn't!!! Or did you??? Hehe!

Girl, I can just hear you tellin' that story! I about fell out of my chair laughing!!! Darlin', they broke the mold when they made you!!! You're the best!!!

Love ya, Sis!
Chari

PEA said...

I received this in an email a while back and I laughed just as much reading it again here! hehe Too funny!! xoxo