An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road.
A cop pulls him over. 'So,' says the cop to the driver, 'where have ya been?'
'Why, I've been to the pub of course,' slurs the drunk.
'Well,' says the cop, 'it look like you've had quite a few to drink this evening.'
'I did all right,' the drunk says with a smile.
'Did you know,' says the cop, standing straight, and folding his arms across his chest, 'that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?'
'Oh, thank heavens,' sighs the drunk. 'for a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf.'
Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears.
He says, 'So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?'
She says, 'Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night.'
The priest says, 'Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?'
She says, 'That he did, Father.'
The priest says, 'What did he ask, Mary?'
She says, 'He said, Please Mary, put down that damn gun....'
It's Saint Patrick's day and an armed hooded robber bursts into the Bank of Ireland and forces the tellers to load a sack full of cash. On his way out the door with the loot one brave Irish customer grabs the hood and pulls it off revealing the robber's face.
The Robber Shoots the Guy Without Hesitation!
He then looks around the bank to see if anyone else has seen him. One of the tellers is looking straight at him and the robber walks over and calmly shoots him also.
Everyone by now is very scared and looking down at the floor.
Did anyone else see my face?' screams the robber.
There is a few moments of silence then one elderly Irish gent, looking down, tentatively raises his hand and says, 'I think me wife may have caught a glimpse.'
Just some of me Irish humor...May all of you have a GREAT St. Patrick's day..
Until next time from my mountain to yours.
Hugs and smiles Gloria
23 comments:
Happy St Patty's to you too sweetie.
xoxo
Sonny
You gotta love the jokes...we're still laughing...thanks for makin us smile...take care sis
Oh...these are so funny! I can identify with them.
Happy St. Paddy's Day, Gloria!
XO,
Jane
Gloria: I can't stop laughing! Thanks for making my day. Happy, Happy St. Patrick's Day to you...Judy
Begorra! I'd say you have a wee bit o'Irish in'ya!
Have a beautiful St. Paddy's day!
TTFN ~
Marydon
Love you BIG!
Happy St. Patty's Day my friend.
xo
Pat
Thanks for the laughs! Happy St. Patties!!!
Hugs,
Fun jokes Gloria, thanks for the belly o'laugh! Happy St. Patty's Day:@)
Gloria,
You are such a riot!
I always love visiting you whether you are making my swoon over your wonderful decor or making me laugh with your jokes. Your blog ALWAYS makes me smile and bring me such pleasure, my friend!!
Hugs,
Deb
Happy St. Patrick's Day to you too, dear Gloria:-) Omigosh, I've got tears streaming down my face from laughing so much at those jokes! hehe xoxo
Too funny Gloria! Thanks for the splendid laugh this mornin'!
Happy St Patty's Day to ya' lass!
Hugs & Irish smiles, Sherry
Love the Irish Jokes~Happy St. Paddy's Day to you-xo Diana!
Happy Saint Pat's, Gloria!
Happy St. Patrick's Day to you sweet friend. Loved the jokes, they made my morning. Have a blessed day. Madeline
Happy St. Patty's Day to you to darling. Thanks for always putting a smile on my face...hope you're feeling better and better.
hugs ~lynne~
Hi Sis...
Awww...a big ol' Irish kiss to you, dear friend! Happy St.Patrick's Day to you too! Love ya!!!
Hehe...loved the jokes! Thanks...I needed the good laugh, Sweetie!
How are you doing, Sis? Hope all is going well in your neck of the woods. We have been having such nice weather...supposed to get up to 80 today...can hardly believe it! That's too hot...too soon! Hehe! The kids are supposed to be here soon...haven't seen them since Christmas...will be nice to visit with them! Not too much going on here...other than that. I'll have to email you...my last Drs. visit didn't turn out so good. It just depressed me. I'm trying to get on top of things though. Thinking about you, honey!
Have a wonderfully sweet weekend!
Love ya sooo much!
Chari
Happy St Pats day Gloria!! Girl those totally cracked me and Michael up! Thanks for the good laugh my friend! What are your plans for this bonny day? Will you be celebrating with any green beer? Or will it be a quiet one for you? We'll be going out for our anniversay dinner and fighting the crowds. Vanna
Hoping you St Patty's day was a fun one! Hugs and wishes for a beautiful day. P.S. I hope you will stop by and say hello and enter the latest giveaway too.
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
Blessings,
Kim
Oh us Irish and our stories!! Did you know my dad was full blood Irish- yup I have alot of that Irish stubbornness in me-
Hope you are doing well friend!
bee blessed
mary
Hi there you sweet thing! Company is all gone and I can relax a bit. Just a bit.
I hope your St. Patricks Day was good. Mine was a bit hectic. The kids are all moved into their new apartment near the beach..and..across the street from Rogers Gardens. Definitely a place to visit this summer. The beach and great shopping at Fashion Island. :)
It was so neat talking to you. You and I have sure been through the health problems..and yours are even worse than mine have been.
Well..not to worry..you've got me, girl! :) No great comfort! :):)
My love to you..
and take care of your little self!
Mona
hahaha pretty funny!
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